Hopefully just maybe

Hmmm... In this blog you possibly will not understand anything about to say, but maybe someone will : ).
Distanced far away, i can barely talk anymore, i cant even go outside without breathing this air, knowing its still there, Why? tell me why cant i walk away from this? Why is it soo hard? maybe i dont need to, i dont want to walk back, i dont want it again, but I do, im confused not knowing what to do next. Maybe the new start is with this new air, its happy, content, lustrous about this new way, happy for me to walk that path, its welcoming and faint hearted to new life, a new love. Hopefully, just maybe, its a happy direction, a nice start, becuase its a nice view from where i stand, i do miss my old breath, my old mind that was shared with one other, it feels like ive broken off this tree, following a new scent, but still confused.

I know this is better, but one can still miss the old breath once or twice taken with one other. Hide and seek now.

I still feel that sahara desert, i still think the stars are upside down, and i still want it, but i know i cant, i know i cant walk back, oh fuck, i dont know...

Hopefully just maybe, soon something beautiful will happen...

I'm sorry but i intended to keep writing but i just cant maybe another day...