Lucid Dreaming

Lately, things have been weird not sure where to put myself, and now seeing a clear sky for the beautiful picture that I will never touch feel so damned into none existence where my dreams and imagination seem more real then her tears, thats why Ive been learning how Lucid Dream, If you don't know what that is, its... basically to realize that your in a dream, when your in a dream, BUT also you have control over it, you control most aspects of the dream, the changes and the future of it. Ive successfully done this twice, and Ive never felt such freedom and love. sometimes I wish i stayed in my dreams.

Everytime

Where are you?
I'm the culprit, so give me that bullet.
Its time to end this once and for all.
I keep Falling down these stairs
Everyday i wish i wake up from this nightmare
White lies is my smile
time to hide in exile
I don't know why
but why is the message not clear
I just feel like putting that bullet in my head
I know you will always be ahead


Everytime I see you...
Everytime my heart skips death...
Everytime its an issue
Everytime... I die...

No more..
I cant take it
and I know
one day
you'll find new Love
and when that day comes
i know it isn't even worth
going to Hell.

Everytime I see you...

Everytime my heart skips death...

Everytime its an issue

Everytime... I die...

On Every Third.

A poem a wrote this morning, an energy went through and still is... its not a pleasant energy. I will try and keep absent from others.
for now here is the poem, its called On Every Third.


On every third
I fall
I Wondered
do I call?

sometimes i do not know my own entity
as dangerous as the rat becomes deadly
i fuel my own anger on your passion
as I wait for my blood to turn crimson

all I see is your eyes hide the lies
all I see is the past burnt to a crisp
all I enjoy is my dreams where everything gleams

On every third
I fall
I wondered
do I call?

misunderstood we did
as we all forbid
you have become my innuendo
an emotion so utterly hollow

your footsteps leaves a trail
that shows every detail
you cant touch an emotion
unless you cary a burden

On every third
I fall
I wondered
do I call?

in the end
is to suspend
never to extend
untill i descend

I will be hungry for beauty.

By Danny Vain

Valentines?

Well well... I think this is the first Valentines alone? or am I? haha well you never know, but yes i guess this will be my first valentines alone in I think... 3 years if im right.
Theres two things, one bad... one good...
Bad? I havent got anyone to spend it with.
Good? Dont have to think or buy anything and make fuss about it, or cut some bloody tree.
Yeh last year my ex carved our name in a tree and took a pic of it and used it as a card, very thoughtful and very nice, well the shitty thing is the tree is gone I think, and I dont know where the card is.
Valentines, Im guessing with all these its about Love, but me not having anyone to Love around me, whats the fucking point?
Aaaah well... Im being a bit negative right now, and should be happy that... that... I dont know, Why should I be happy? should I be happy because I tryed and tryed every possible fucking way to get back and fuck all has happened. Yes, that is a reason, why? it makes realise what the situation around me is... Reading this... sounds like im lost and chaotic and god knows what shit, but no im getting to the point, Valentines Day, is actually about making someone feel good. and Im going to make someone feel good. and I know who... and NO, its not her.
Like i sayd. move on.

Despite the past, the present and what the future can be... Im going to make someone feel nice, feel good, feel special.
You didint want it, now someone else will be in a nice place.

INSANE INSANE INSANE hahaha im joking. this what happens when 6 months has passed and you havent been with ANYONE. Now its fucking time.

Good night and shit you gaylords!

Move on? Yes

Well... For the past few weeks ive analizyng every situation, seeing what can be the outcome, and I know that I need to move on, thats one thing I havent done, its been 6 months, six fucking months, and I know that old path is shut. I need to find a new path, time walk on, time to move on, as I see that everyone else has moved on. I was thinking lately and seeing what it might be like, talking to my mate Gavin about it, and I think should bring my old self back, where I didint give a shit, and my confidence was high. The only way to continue on this island.
Why? well I feel ignored, and im very bored at the moment, and to be honest I know that she wont take me back, so fuck it. What have I got to fucking loose? Ive already lost everything I had... What I wanted...

The past will STAY as the past.