Emotional Immersion

Well, long time no post, and I doubt anyone reads this anyway, but it takes the wondrous crap out of my mind, useless & subtle but I enjoy it.
Today... well This morning as its just turned 4 AM and being by yourself makes you think a hell of a lot, my vocabulary is considered low, so excuse my words how they are written.
There is a topic i wanna go through, emptiness...
Sometimes if your like me, sitting by yourself thinking about the world and lifes around you, wondering what's going on in they're mind, also thinking about memories and moments that you truly miss, well tonight was different,  Yes I was thinking but more of in the way of how to get myself out of a situation that I don't want to be in, If you have read my previous entries on this blog you may know about the story of me and my ex. well its time basically, to not exactly give it all up, but to stand up from this cracked floor, where i see my skin rot, where my friends and family try and pick me up, I was weak and lost.
The other day I noticed that I am now standing but I ain't walking down any path, there was no path to walk, no story to make, no truth to unfold. I wasn't lost as there was no where to be lost, I knew where I was, but today I noticed that all around where paths to be taken, stories to be made, I was blind as I only saw a path that I couldn't walk, I was blind to everything else, I knew I couldn't go this way, so from now I will walk down any path, because what will happen is up to me. It may sound vain but its the truth, I was empty where I was, empty these past 6 months.
Sure maybe one day I might wanna take a walk down the old path, but until its fixed I'm not going near it.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do, is stop digging.

Dont focus your energy on something that cant be fixed, it will be a memory and it will be a feeling, you can never replace.

Next time Ill try to make my entry not about me :)

Lost no longer but still not found.
x

Distance

Today was weird, strange encounters with people I met many years ago, it seems unreal, things seem like theyre distant but like if you dont mind it being distant as you think on both sides everything is ok, little details have been making major impacts on my life, just little small things that tend to end up being big, some things that started small ended up being the two most beautiful years of your life, something that only once a lifetime may happen, you will remember it for the rest of your life. I realised with the help of the awesome film "Labyrinth" that you shouldn't take the small and big things for granted, if not you wont see what's really there :)

=) Lets see

well.. good news for once, enjoying life a lot more lately, I couldn't ask for better friends, enjoying times with them, going to Soundchaser, random events, parties, fincas... just great :) but like everything there is something missing, that massive gap in life, where it feels like I got everything in the world and Im not happy, why? Its because she isnt there, I know.. I Know... I should try and move on, but im not gonna try because I dont want to. simples. xD
But there is one major thing I AM going to do, for the past 4 years, ive made it about me, its been about me, ive been ignorant and self-fish, this time, this year, its time to make it about everyone else, use the power ive got, not to make it my way but everyones way. If you keep both sides happy, you have balance and balance is perfection.
My NEW YEARS Resolution, its about everyone else and not me.

Enjoy your year and be happy, because once you loose the thing you value and love with your life disappears, your eternally searching for an answer, I found my answer, it lies within balance, patience and love. Happy 2011 =) x

...?

If you still read this, well theres one person I want them to know is that I want the days we have together to be how you wanted them to be, as both as happy as both can be... but the message is this will only happen apart... I will try to be as close as I can but I know you dont want it back...