Well, long time no post, and I doubt anyone reads this anyway, but it takes the wondrous crap out of my mind, useless & subtle but I enjoy it.
Today... well This morning as its just turned 4 AM and being by yourself makes you think a hell of a lot, my vocabulary is considered low, so excuse my words how they are written.
There is a topic i wanna go through, emptiness...
Sometimes if your like me, sitting by yourself thinking about the world and lifes around you, wondering what's going on in they're mind, also thinking about memories and moments that you truly miss, well tonight was different, Yes I was thinking but more of in the way of how to get myself out of a situation that I don't want to be in, If you have read my previous entries on this blog you may know about the story of me and my ex. well its time basically, to not exactly give it all up, but to stand up from this cracked floor, where i see my skin rot, where my friends and family try and pick me up, I was weak and lost.
The other day I noticed that I am now standing but I ain't walking down any path, there was no path to walk, no story to make, no truth to unfold. I wasn't lost as there was no where to be lost, I knew where I was, but today I noticed that all around where paths to be taken, stories to be made, I was blind as I only saw a path that I couldn't walk, I was blind to everything else, I knew I couldn't go this way, so from now I will walk down any path, because what will happen is up to me. It may sound vain but its the truth, I was empty where I was, empty these past 6 months.
Sure maybe one day I might wanna take a walk down the old path, but until its fixed I'm not going near it.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do, is stop digging.
Dont focus your energy on something that cant be fixed, it will be a memory and it will be a feeling, you can never replace.
Next time Ill try to make my entry not about me :)
Lost no longer but still not found.
x
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