Well for a while I wont be posting on here and you may have noticed Ive stopped posting on here...
5 months without Internet and it continues without Internet... Its unusually satisfying and utterly annoying. As most of my work and hobbies need to internet as an important tool.
Well what can I say...
Rohypnol is doing very well, we may start pro recording soon! and doing some gigs!
In my state of mine, I am starting to feel quiet alone... Love banished me a long time ago and my journey to find not love but the same harmony I once enjoyed before is becoming difficult, I am a person who wants to love, and be loved. Mutual harmony to conjure a certain type of memory. It only can be made with a special certain someone... but my problem is, I am way to impatient, I move fast and I dont want to slow down, if I slow down, My thoughts will drive me insane...
Lately I have been enjoying some new experiences! including my first time singing at concerts, and playing in a band that is doing well!
But everything is blurry, I cant help but hope the past will reform in a new direction, new people and new ways yet still keep that connectivity that we all hold, but I am seeing more deception with people as I go on, including with myself. My problem with ADD seems to be getting better on some places and worse on others. its like the balance is way off mark, and it just gets worse. What used to be bad is terrible and what used to be ok is amazing. I am becoming who I want to be in an unsuccessful way. I try to let others know whats going on but it seems impossible for them to remember I've got a fucking problem...
but Hey, lets conform to it like every other fucking problem that "I" Have to conform with theirs... It seems very unfair but its my nature, to not be like that, not become those things I despise, Most of the time im a hipocrite but I do not intend to be, sometimes I do the same problem to show that you also do it to me, but they only see MY wrong doing.
On the subject... My last girlfriend didn't affect me as I thought it would, the cheating and break up, was not actually harsh on me, I walked by... but Is it good that I no longer felt anything? only an instance of wrath that my fragile thin wall felt but fuck all else? No anger afterwards or sadness. just redemption, so she sees what she has done and I was successful with experience and words, She started a game that I could only finish. and its over.
Well I will continue when I can... fucking internet...
