Perception?

For the last two or three years I have been learning alot about my self, especially in the sense of finding the answer to a stupid question we all ask ourselfs, who are we?
For along time I didint think anything of me, lets say about 5 years ago, I though I was some cool kid when in fact I was just a stupid bully who also got bullied in school.

I started to learn about who I am, first by starting to dwelve in to darker things, clothing, thoughts, music, history, and my own interests even ones I hid away, bit by bit I started to create the image I wanted for me, with influences.

For many years I had my own theories about life, about  religion, about who we are...
I think what powers us is Energy, our life-force, something that is our power and electricity, now I know many people have talked about this and in other cultures it has names like Chi and Chakra, well there is something I want to say, does anyone know about the other side of it? the darker side? it may sound corny but Its very powerful especially if you understand it, Not  all that is  dark is evil., many misunderstand that evil isnt the true evil, but just the other side of story. A story told in many cultures and many languages, a story told by many religions in their own way, to fear you to join their "holy good side", Normally in many of these cultures if you do not follow their "Holy Side" you are beating down, exiled from your comunity, thrown away like a dying dog, Now think, If you dont want to beleive  someones view about life, do you deserve to be treated inferior? now what is truly evil? The dark forces that lie hidden in shadows? or these holy religions that push your boundaries in your mind.
You choose who you want to be, you choose what you want to beleive, you take count that your action are what is your own good, and your own evil. We Humans created the balance, we created what is good and what is bad. Now who chooses its bad to eat animals? when the animal kingdom is more brutal and dangerous then we humans could handle? This society is dying because we think we are scum and shit, We are not of this earth, we are a creature of this planet, but then again, there is so many pathetic humans out there that think so badly of us, that misunderstand our ways with nature, spirits, the universe...
Now back on track... Unlike many I use the dark energies around me not in the sense to harm people or to cause evil but to survive, to gain what I want without  harming anyone in the process, Take it like this, A gun, now  a gun can be seen in many ways but the common way to see a gun is, it kills, it destroys, it can end life... but its not the gun the destroys life, its the person who holds the gun, behind the trigger is the true own evil, The darkness is like a gun, many see it negativally but they dont understand the beauty behind it, its never had the intention to take you over, but evil humans have taken the darkness to pursue their deeds while harming those who stand in their way.
Another easy way to view religion or Christianity, Heaven is Goverment &  Hell is the Prison, Now we are ment to be afraid of Hell AND! Satan but why hate Satan? I meen He is the guardian of Hell, he is keeping all the evil inside of hell, He is the prison chief, and the demons are the prison guards. Of course we are supposed to fear hell and love God. but religion has used the evil and darkness is a very negative way, and I think its time for a change because not everything that is associated with the darkness is a negative force.
I admit... I manipulate the energies around me, and I also take the energies from those around me sometimes, and Sexual energy  is also very powerful, but if I do take energy, I will always give some back in some way, energy they need, Its weird, but I always find people who have a negative passed, a really strong energy in them, that is negative and building up... and I take this energy, I feed on it, its like I find it very easy...
Sometimes I dont know what to do, because I find these people and I want to help them, and I turn them into exactly how I want them, even without them knowing.
Its powerful, Energy  is powerful and still very misunderstood.
Once you find yourself, you will be able to  start controlling the energy and being able to touch it, feel it, and sometimes see it.
You will find people like you more easily, with similar thoughts, and you will start to understand why there is meening to life, and why its important to live, without the shit in the world we wouldnt be able to appreaciate whats good in life because we only appreaciate something when we have lost it.
Dont misunderstand yourself, and those around you, dont blame them for your own mistakes and find a path that can lead to  a future you want, remember the end of this path is important, but what is more important is the journey through this path to gain your goal, the experience you will learn from other people, places, energies, moments, music... You are your own generation, make it count.